Flirting with Disaster
by scoob2222
Summary: Garcia gave up flirting with Derek for Kevin, but is it really worth it?


Prompt: "You have a Ph.D. in flirting"/Flirting (conscious or unconscious; with glances or touches; banter)

It wasn't that the flirting had disappeared when she started dating Kevin, it had just….slowed. She still called him sweetness and joked about what he was going to give her if she helped him, but was less likely to call him her hunk of burning chocolate love or the ask him to spank her.

It just didn't seem appropriate with Kevin around. He was her boyfriend after all and it wasn't right that she openly flirted with other men while she was dating him.

Even if, as Derek said, she had a, "Ph.D. in flirting."

For a while she didn't really miss the flirting, being too caught up in a new relationship, in having a nice, sweet guy actually interested in her, instead of insulting her, making fun or her, or, oh yeah, shooting a hole in her.

But when the newness of their relationship wore off Penelope found herself…bored and desperately missing her flirtation/friendship/whatever she had with Derek. And wasn't that a sad comment on her and Kevin that she would rather flirt with Derek than actually be with her boyfriend.

At some point, she got tired of pretending she didn't want to flirt with Derek, got tired of holding back and decided just to be herself.

"Well hello my hunk of burning love," she'd said one day when she picked up the phone, "What can the goddess of everything do for you?"

"Hey there, baby girl, I need your fabulous fingers to get me an address."

"Anything for you my vision."

Soon enough they were back to normal, so normal that one day she inadvertently found herself flirting with Derek in front of Kevin.

"Hi there, sweetness, how can I help you today? Need my fabulous fingers to do some…squeezing."

"Now, now, baby girl, you behave."

"Or you'll spank me again?" she giggled, "Don't be silly Derek, I meant did you need me to squeeze out any names for you, you have such a dirty mind."

When the phone call finally ended, the information out, and a sudden lull in her work, she turned to find Kevin glaring at her from the next computer, "What?" she'd asked.

"Do you have to be so…obvious about that? Its bad enough you have the silly crush, the least you could do is be subtle about it."

She'd felt her cheeks redden, feeling shamed and embarrassed. She went back to being polite and courteous whenever Derek called.

Then Kevin made a nasty comment about Derek when the whole team was out to dinner and suddenly she was back to flirting again.

Of course, she knew the whole time that she was ignoring what was staring her right in the face—she didn't really want to be with Kevin. The newness had worn off and she was quickly finding that he was not nearly as sweet or charming as she first thought.

And most of all he was not Derek and it seemed that was her main criteria for finding the perfect man.

Still, she didn't break up with Kevin. Maybe that made her pathetic, but she just didn't want to go back to being alone all the damn time. Besides, she could want Derek forever and he wasn't ever going to want her in return. So she should just get used to it and get over it.

Or at least keep the flirting to times when Kevin wasn't around.

Which was why she'd started inviting Derek over on Tuesdays because Kevin played fantasy whatever the hell it was every Tuesday.

Unfortunately, this specific Tuesday Kevin had decided not to play and dropped in on her instead.

Also unfortunate was the fact that she and Derek were play wrestling for a piece of licorice when Kevin burst in the door.

She froze, Derek froze, and Kevin froze.

Then he yelled.

"I cannot believe this, Penelope," he said as he slammed the door behind him, "This is ridiculous. I am tired of constantly finding you draping yourself desperately all over him," Kevin pointed Derek.

She scrambled up, moving forward to…well she wasn't sure what, but Kevin's eyes were dark with anger and Derek quickly stepped between them.

"Hey, man, calm down, nothing's going on here."

"Of course nothing's going on," Kevin said looking at him with disgust, "I'm not a moron, unlike Penelope here who still thinks you're going to turn around and sweep her off her damn feet." Kevin tried to get around Derek, but couldn't, so instead he settled for glaring at her over her shoulder, "It's a silly, pathetic crush that you need to get over."

"Hey," Derek said, pushing him backwards and farther away from her, "I don't care if you two are dating, no one talks to her that way, certainly not in front of me."

"Great, protect her and she'll fall even more in love with you. Don't you realize you're just making it worse by flirting back, it makes her think she actually has a chance and its ruining anything we can have together?"

"I don't think we have anything together, Kevin," she was almost surprised to hear her own voice, "I think I've completely misjudged you and you should just…just get out and don't come back."

"Fine," Kevin said, shrugging and throwing up his hands, "Go back to worshipping this guy. At this point I'm not even sure I care."

She bites her bottom lip to keep from crying as he turns to leave. Derek grabs his arm as he does, "Wait a second, Penelope might be done with you, but I have a question."

"What's that?"

"Why do you think I couldn't be interested in Penelope?"

"Derek," Penelope starts, suddenly feeling as if the humiliation might get even worse, "Please don't…"

"No, no, Pen, I want to know. So," he said, talking to Kevin again, "Spill. What do you think you know about me?"

"I know that you date girls that look like they should be Victoria Secret models. I know you move around from girl to girl at bars and out of the dozens you dance with none of them look like Penelope. I know you flirt with her because its fun for you and you think it's cute and sweet and no big deal and you don't realize that she's naïve enough to think you mean it."

"Stop," Penelope, said loudly, her eyes filled with tears, "Just…"'

"One second, Pen, I didn't get to answer the man."

"Derek," she said, almost pleadingly.

He turned to her and smiled, "Trust me, baby girl."

She nodded, but still wanted to crawl under the table, even as he took her hand and pulled her against him.

"Now, Kevin, let me tell you something. You don't' know me at all, and its clear to me you don't know Penelope, because she isn't naïve, she's hopeful, she believes in everything good in this world, it keeps her from being cynical and sad like most of us, like you, it keeps me going on days when I just want to give up. And all those girls I date and dance with couldn't hold a candle to how beautiful she is inside and out. The only reason I'm not with her is because I thought she was happy with you. Since it's clear to me you couldn't make anyone happy, let alone my goddess, I want you to know I'll be more than happy to take your place…and do a damn better job of appreciating this woman." Derek paused and smiled at her, the looked back at Kevin, "And in case you're still confused about how much I want to be with her I'm more than happy to demonstrate." Derek turned and pulled her against him, his lips crashing down on hers and kissing her, his arms circling her as her knees got weak.

He pulled her weak body against his as he turned back to Kevin, "I think that's everything. You can feel free to go to hell now." That being said he slammed the door shut in Kevin's face.

"You okay?" he asked as he turned to look at her.

"You, uh…so that was…that was just for show right that's wasn't…of course that wasn't you…you…" she was aware she was babbling, but she just couldn't seem to stop, "You don't."

He reached up to hold her face in his hands and kissed her again, slower and more thoroughly than the first time, "I meant it," he said when he pulled back.

For a moment, she thought her knees might give out, so she threw her arms around him and gave him a smacking kiss, "Well it certainly took you long enough."

"I'm sorry," he said, "We're not all as smart as you, goddess."

"True, but I think I might be able to forgive you if you kissed me again."

"I think I can handle that."


End file.
